'Cause we could be lifted/ Lifted.

Four months since my last post. And, in a desperate attempt to refute my usual plus-ca-change attitude, here's a list of the handful of things that have, indeed, changed my life since December.

1. Went to the Bangalore Passport Office and stood in long, winding lines half a dozen times.

Encountered many Passport Office people, all surly and unhelpful, except for the Passport Officer. Cannot imagine why the Government cannot take advantage of the huge workforce available to them, and hire a few normal human beings instead of those obviously visiting from another planet.

Passport Office people from other worlds. Oh, the irony.

2. Discovered and visited my nearest Police Station, where obese officers of the law made me look through box files to locate my own paperwork. While they leched and smile widely.

3. Got my first stitches ever, when I fell and cut my hand. Resulted in a tiny-but-fairly-sexy scar on the inside of my right wrist.

At least, I think it's sexy. Must be a throwback to all the times I've insisted that the only glamorous way to snuff yourself out is to slit your wrists.

That was/ is/ always will be a joke. I fully intend to live much longer than I should, and that's the reason why I shop as much as I do.

4. Went to Goa twice, and Madras, KL, and Bangkok once each.

Discovered nothing. Shopped a bit. And had the singularly gross misfortune of having a migraine attack in a foreign airport while travelling alone.

5. Turned 35, and plunged headfirst into middle age, only to discover I'm still firmly in possession of the two-and-a-half qualities that define me: a vicious sense of humour, an escapist reliance on the sunny side of life, a deep and abiding love for dogs and travel and books, and a pathetic handle on money.

Oh, and some issues with arithmetic.

6. Acquired an iPod and a Nokia 6300, both of which I love to pieces. (And, yes, I lost another phone. )

7. Decided to rejig my sporting beliefs a bit:

a. Like Thierry Henry, I, too, will miss the rest of the EPL season due to injury. Shall enjoy what remains of The Season of Man U, and start again in July.

b. For the rest of this World Cup, I shall adopt the BLACKCAPS as my team.

c. Lewis Hamilton is undeniably cute. And British.

8. Read some fabulous books, including, but not restricted to The Robber Bride, Sacred Games, and House of Leaves.

9. Made my first (and last) Page 3 appearance, thanks to being at a reading of a book which I hadn't/ still haven't read.

What I have read is Kiran Desai's earlier novel, which I didn't like at all. (Salman Rushdie did.)

:)

End of list!

I'll meet you on the other side/ I'll meet you in the light.

Think of it as blogging detox, but it's been almost two whole months since I fired up Blogger.

Highlights and lowlights of the stuff I did in the interim: Fell madly in love with Lush. Went to Goa. Read my first Zadie Smith.

Worried about my wrinkles and falling hair, thereby compounding the problem.

Saw KANK and Lage Raho Munnabhai. And RDB, Fanaa, and Bunty aur Babli, thus topping up my sadly-lacking Bollywood IQ.

Decided to take a sabbatical next year. Hennaed my hair (allegedly) black. Dog-sat. Watched Arsenal decimate Manchester United.

Acquired a set-top box, thus becoming the only person in the known universe to buy two of those in a two-year span. Renewed my car insurance, and swore to get my finances/ payments/ life in order.

Gave up on the Indian team for the zillionth time, even though they beat the West Indies quite bizarrely just a little while ago.

Listened almost exclusively to Travis, Keane, Oasis, and Coldplay on Pandora. Bunked work for a couple of days, realised it was almost blissful, and decided I hate my new job. Will be rectifying that situation pretty soon.

Bravely and single-handedly made huge contributions to Vijay Mallya's personal wealth. (He's seriously considering replacing the illustration of the bird on the bottle with my mug shot.)

The other stuff's either so boring, I don't remember it. Or so depressing, I'd rather not write about it.